TV has changed a lot. Now, reality TV is emerging force behind situation comedies and drama. Also, many shows opt to use a classic rock song (for example, CSI using The Who) instead of their own TV theme song. I do not doubt that there would be a sound business case there, but many times the TV theme is what we remember from a TV show... These are my top 20 TV themes of all time...
1. M*A*S*H*: "Suicide in Painless" by Johnny Mandel
2. Cheers: "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" by Gary Portnoy
3. Gilligan's Island: "The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle" by The Wellingtons
4. The Addams Family: "The Addams Family" by Vic Mizzy
5. WKRP in Cincinnati: "WKRP In Cincinnati Main Theme" by Steve Carlisle
6. The Flintstones: "Meet the Flinstones"
7. Batman: "Theme from Batman" by Nelson Riddle
8. Friends: "I'd Be There For You" by The Rembrandts
9. The Banana Splits Adventure Hour: "The Tra la la la Song" by The Banana Splits
10. Mission: Impossible: "Main Title" by Lalo Schifrin
11. The Muppet Show
12. The Greatest American Hero: "Believe it or not" by Joey Scarbury
13. The Simpsons
14. Happy Days
15. Dukes of Hazzard: "Good Ole Boys" by Waylon Jennings
16. Beverly Hillbilies: "The Ballad of Jed Clampett"
17. The Sopranos: "Woke Up This Morning" by A3
18. Hawaii 5-0
19. Bonanza
20. Big Bang Theory: "Big Bang" by The Barenaked Ladies
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Top 20 April 16 Songs
On April 16, the psychedelic effects of LSD were discovered, Syria became independent from France, Apollo 16 was launched from Cape Canaveral and the Virginia Tech massacre took place - the deadliest shooting rampage in modern US history. If you were born on April 16, you share a birthday with none other than the great Charlie Chaplin, Henry Mancini (the Pink Panther theme guy), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, "Baker Street" singer Gerry Rafferty, Australian politician and singer Peter Garret (Midnight Oil), actor Jon Cryer (Two and Half Men), tex/mex icon Selena Quintanilla and, believe it or not, our current Pope - Benedict XVI (Mazinger Meneito). These are my top 20 April 16 songs.
1. Your Wildest Dreams - The Moody Blues
Once upon a time / Once when you were mine / I remember skies reflected in your eyes / I wonder where you are / I wonder if you think about me / Once upon a time / In your wildest dreams / Once the world was new / Our bodies felt the morning dew / That greets the brand new day / We couldn't tear ourselves away / I wonder if you care / I wonder if you still remember / Once upon a time / In your wildest dreams
2. La Playa - La Oreja de Van Gogh
Si pudiera volver a nacer / te vería cada día amanecer / Sonriendo como cada vez, como aquella vez. / Te voy a escribir la canción más bonita del mundo / Voy a capturar nuestra historia en tan solo un segundo / Un día verás que este loco de poco se olvida / por mucho que pasen los años de largo en su vida.
3. The Dance - Garth Brooks
Holding you, I held everything / For a moment wasn't I a king? / But if I'd only known how the king would fall / Hey who's to say? you know I might have changed it all / And now I'm glad I didn't know / The way it all would end, the way it all would go / Our lives are better left to chance / I could have missed the pain / But I'd have had to miss the dance
4. Mariposa Tecnicolor - Fito Paez
Todas las mañanas que viví / todas las calles donde me escondí / el encantamiento de un amor / el sacrificio de mis padres / los zapatos de charol / los domingos en el club / salvo que Cristo sigue allí en la cruz / las columnas de la catedral y la tribuna gritan gol el lunes por la capital / .. / Vi sus caras de resignacion / los vi felices llenos de dolor / ellas cocinaban el arroz / el levantaba sus principios de sutil emperador / Todo al fin se sucedió / solo que el tiempo no los esperó / la melancolia de morir en este mundo / y de vivir sin una estupida razon
5. Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills & Nash
When you see the Southern Cross for the first time / You understand now why you came this way / 'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small / But it's as big as the promise / The promise of a comin' day / ... / So we cheated, and we lied, and we tested / And we never failed to fail / it was the easiest thing to do / I will survive being bested / Somebody fine will come along / make me forget about loving you / in the Southern Cross.
6. Amiga - Miguel Bose
El tiempo no fue tiempo entre nosotros / estando juntos nos sentimos infinitos / Y el universo era pequeño / comparado con lo que eramos tu y yo / Si fuiste lo que fuiste fue en mi carro / Que para ti fue tu palacio y tu guarida / Amiga / que dulce y que sencilla esa palabra suena hoy /
7. Synchronisity II - The Police
Another suburban family morning / Grandmother screaming at the wall / We have to shout above the din of our Rice Crispies / We can't hear anything at all. / Mother chants her litany of boredom and frustration / But we know all her suicides are fake / Daddy only stares into the distance / There's only so much more that he can take / Many miles away something crawls from the slime / At the bottom of a dark Scottish lake.
8. Infinito - Enrique Bunbury
Y decían qué bonito era vernos pasear / Queriéndonos infinito / Pensaban siempre será igual / Cómo lo permitimos / Qué es lo que hicimos tan mal / Fue este orgullo desgraciado / Que no supimos tragar / Y engañame un poco al menos / Dime que me quieres aún más / Que durante todo este tiempo / Lo has pasado fatal / Que ninguno de esos idiotas / Te supieron hacer reir / Y que lo único que te importa / Es este pobre infeliz
9. Sleeping Sun - Nightwish
Two hundred twenty-two days of light / Will be desired by a night / A moment for the poet's play / Until there's nothing left to say / I wish for this night-time to last for a lifetime / The darkness around me / Shores of a solar sea / Oh how I wish to go down with the sun / Sleeping / Weeping / With you...
10. Derroche - Ana Belen
El reloj de cuerda suspendido / El teléfono desconectado / En una mesa dos copas de vino / Y a la noche se le fue la mano / Una luz rosada imaginamos / Comenzamos por probar el vino / Con mirarnos todo lo dijimos / Y a la noche se le fue la mano / Si supiera contar todo lo que sentí / No quedó un lugar que no anduviera en ti / Pareciamos dos irracionales / que se iban a morir mañana...
11. I Wanna Come Over - Melissa Etheridge
I want to come over / To hell with the consequence / You told me you loved me / That's all I believe / I want to come over / It's a need I can't explain / To see you again / I want to come over
12. Soldado del Amor - Manuel Mijares
Amar es quedarse sin fuerzas / es vover a intentarlo otra vez aunque tu no comprendas / amar es sentir un incendio que avanza por dentro y fingir / cada mirada tuya rara es un puñal que se me clava / cada vez que me rechazas es el impacto de una bala / y saber que voy perdiendo la batalla / perdiendo la batalla / Soldado del amor en esta guerra entre tu y yo / cada noche caigo herido por ganar tu corazón / soldado del amor luchando a muerte por tu piel / soy un heroe de mentira un gigante de papel
13. Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Four Seasons
Pardon the way that I stare / There's nothing else to compare / The sight of you makes me weak / There are no words left to speak / But if you feel like I feel / Please let me know that it's real / You're just too good to be true / Can't take my eyes off you.
14. Corazon Tendido al Sol - Victor Manuel
Aunque soy un pobre diablo / casi siempre digo la verdad / Como fuego abrasador / siempre quise ser el que no soy / No transcurre el tiempo junto a ti, / no existe el reloj / no tiene sentido entre tú y yo /... / Dejo sangre en el papel / y todo lo que escribo al día siguiente rompería / si no fuera porque creo en ti / A pesar de todo / tú me haces vivir / me haces escribir dejando el rastro de mi alma / y cada verso es un jirón de piel / Soy un corazón tendido al sol.
15. What About Me? - Moving Pictures
Well there's a little boy waitin' at the counter of a corner shop / He's been waitin' down there, waitin' half the day / They never ever seem to have the time / He gets pushed around, knocked to the ground / He gets to his feet and he says / "What about me? / it isn't fair / I've had enough now I want my share / Can't you see? / I wanna live! / But you just take more than you give..."
16. Gavilan o Paloma - La Lupita
Esa noche entre tus brazos caí en la trampa / Casaste al aprendiz de seductor / Y me diste de comer sobre tu palma / Haciéndome tu humilde servidor / Amiga, hay que ver como es el amor / Que vuela a quien lo toma / Gavilán o paloma / Pobre tonto, ingenuo y charlatán / Que fui paloma por querer ser gavilán.
17. Someday Out of the Blue - Elton John
I still believe / I still put faith in us / We had it all and watched it slip away / Where are we now? / Not where we want to be / Those hot afternoons still follow me / Some day out of the blue / Maybe years from now / Or tomorrow night / I'll turn and I'll see you / As if we always knew / Some day we would live again / some day soon
18. Slowly - Luis Eduardo Aute
Por mas que yo sea una bestia y tu seas tan bella / quiero bailar un slowly tonigth, my love / ... / por mas que nos pille el estupido de tu marido / quiero bailar un slowly tonigth, tonigth / y aunque enamorarme de ti me lo tengas prohibido / quiero bailar un slowly tonigth, my love
19. El Tuerto y El Ciego - Sui Generis
Desnuda de frio / y hermosa como ayer / Tan santa como dos y dos son tres / Ella llego a mi / apenas la pude ver / aprendi a disimular mi estupidez / Bienvenido a Casandra / Bienvenido al sol y mi niñez / Sigue y sigue bailando alrededor / Aunque siempre seamos pocos los que aun te podamos ver / Les contaste un cuento sabiéndolo contar / Y creyeron que tu alma andaba mal / La mediocridad para algunos es normal / La locura es poder ver mas alla
20. Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Workin' hard to get my fill / Everybody wants a thrill / Payin' anything to roll the dice / Just one more time / Some will win / Some will lose / Some were born to sing the blues / Oh, the movie never ends / It goes on and on and on and on / Strangers waiting / Up and down the boulevard / Their shadows searching in the night / Streetlights, people / Livin' just to find emotion / Hidin', somewhere in the night / Don't stop believin'
... And they say that he got crazy once and that he tried to touch the sun, and he lost a friend, but kept the memory. Now he walks in quiet solitude, the forest and the stream, seeking grace in every step he takes...
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes - How do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes - How do you measure a year in the life?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Top 20 Songs from Broadway/West End Musicals
To me, musicals are just contemporary Operas in English with rock or pop music. Whether Broadway or the West End, musical theater has made greater contributions to pop culture than we can ever imagine. In fact, I challenge you to go through this list and tell me if there is not at least one of this songs that does not crack a smile on your face... These are my top 20 musicals...
1. Les Misarables: I Dreamed a Dream; One Day More, Stars, Do You Hear the People Sing?, Master of the House, Look Down, Lovely Ladies, Red and Black, Drink with me, Beggards at the Feast...
2. Rent: Seasons of Love, Rent, One Song Glory, Tango: Maureen, Santa Fe, La Vie Boheme, I'll Cover You, Today 4 U, Over the Moon, Light my Candle..
3. Phantom of the Opera: The Music of the Night, The Phantom of the Opera, All I Ask of You, Wishing you Were Here Somehow Again, The Point of No Return, Angel of Music...
4. Chicago: All That Jazz, Cell Block Tango, Press Conference Rag, Roxie, Mr. Cellophane, Razzle Dazzle, Class, I Can't Do it Alone, Nowadays, Class, Hot Honey Rag...
5. Fiddler on the Roof: Tradition, If I Were a Rich Man, Sunrise Sunset, Matchmaker, Anatekva, Far From the Home I Love, Little Bird, Do You Love Me?, Miracle of Miracles...
6. A Chorus Line: What I Did for Love; One; Nothing; Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love; I Can Do That, I Hope I Get It; At the Ballet; Sing...
7. Cats: Memory; Magical Mr. Mistoffolees; The Rum Tum Tugger; Gus: The Theatre Cat; Bustopher Jones; Macavity: The Mystery Cat; Skimbleshanks; Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats...
8. Jesus Christ Superstar: Gethsemane, Superstar, Heaven on Their Minds, Last Supper, I Don't Know How to Love Him, Can We Start Again Please?, The Trail Before Pilate, Herod's Song, Hossana, This Jesus Must Die, Simon Zeloates...
9. West Side Story: Quintet, Maria, Jet Song, Somewhere, America, I Feel Pretty, Tonight, Gee Officer Krumpke...
10. Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: Any Dream Will Do, Go Go Joseph, Close Every Door, One More Angel in Heaven, Song of the King, Poor Poor Pharoah, Those Canaan Days, Benjamin's Calypso...
11. Hair: Easy to be Hard, Aquarius, Let the Sun Shine In, I Got Life, Hair, Ain't Go No, Where Do I Go?, Manchester England, The Flesh Failures, Good Morning Starshine, Sodomy, I'm Black, Walking in Space...
12. Evita: Don't Cry for me Argentina, Waltz for Eva and Che, Oh What a Circus!, Another Suitcase in Another Hall, a New Argentina, High Flying Adored, And the Money Kept Rolling In, Buenos Aires, On This Night of a Thousand Stars, The Rainbow Tour...
13. My Fair Lady: Why Can't the English?, I Could Have Danced All Night, Get Me to the Church on Time, Wouldn't It Be Loverly?, On the Street Where you Live, A Hymn to Him, With a Little Bit of Luck, Just You Wait...
14. Grease: Summer Nights, We Go Together, Beauty School Drop Out, Alone at the Drive-In, Rock'n'Roll Party Queen, Those Magic Changes, Greased Lightning, There are Worse Things I Could Do, Look at me I'm Sandra Dee...
15. Avenue Q: The Internet is for Porn, Purpose, Mix Tape, Everyone's a little bit Racist, If You Were Gay, There's a Fine Fine Line, Sucks to be Me...
16. Camelot: I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Camelot, The Lusty Month of May, If Ever I Would Leave You, What do the Simple Folk Do?, Guenevere...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDAVjUCvNfI&feature=related
17. Man of la Mancha: The Impossible Dream, Man of la Mancha, The Knight of the Woeful Countenance, Little Bird Little Bird, Dulcinea, Golden Helmet of Mambrino
18. Spamalot: Always Look in the Bright Side of Life, You Won't Succeed in Broadway, The Song that Goes Like This, Knights of the Round Table, Brave Sir Robin, Diva's Lament, Find Your Grail...
19. Pirates of Penzance: The Pirate King, The Very Model of a Major General, Climb Over Rocky Mountain, When the Foreman Bares His Steel, A Paradox, A Rollicking Band of Pirates We, Finale Act II
20. Wicked: Defying Gravity, Popular, No One Mourns the Wicked, the Wizard and I, No Good Deed, Dancing Through Life, One Short Day, What is This Feeling?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g4ekwTd6Ig
1. Les Misarables: I Dreamed a Dream; One Day More, Stars, Do You Hear the People Sing?, Master of the House, Look Down, Lovely Ladies, Red and Black, Drink with me, Beggards at the Feast...
2. Rent: Seasons of Love, Rent, One Song Glory, Tango: Maureen, Santa Fe, La Vie Boheme, I'll Cover You, Today 4 U, Over the Moon, Light my Candle..
3. Phantom of the Opera: The Music of the Night, The Phantom of the Opera, All I Ask of You, Wishing you Were Here Somehow Again, The Point of No Return, Angel of Music...
4. Chicago: All That Jazz, Cell Block Tango, Press Conference Rag, Roxie, Mr. Cellophane, Razzle Dazzle, Class, I Can't Do it Alone, Nowadays, Class, Hot Honey Rag...
5. Fiddler on the Roof: Tradition, If I Were a Rich Man, Sunrise Sunset, Matchmaker, Anatekva, Far From the Home I Love, Little Bird, Do You Love Me?, Miracle of Miracles...
6. A Chorus Line: What I Did for Love; One; Nothing; Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love; I Can Do That, I Hope I Get It; At the Ballet; Sing...
7. Cats: Memory; Magical Mr. Mistoffolees; The Rum Tum Tugger; Gus: The Theatre Cat; Bustopher Jones; Macavity: The Mystery Cat; Skimbleshanks; Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats...
8. Jesus Christ Superstar: Gethsemane, Superstar, Heaven on Their Minds, Last Supper, I Don't Know How to Love Him, Can We Start Again Please?, The Trail Before Pilate, Herod's Song, Hossana, This Jesus Must Die, Simon Zeloates...
9. West Side Story: Quintet, Maria, Jet Song, Somewhere, America, I Feel Pretty, Tonight, Gee Officer Krumpke...
10. Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: Any Dream Will Do, Go Go Joseph, Close Every Door, One More Angel in Heaven, Song of the King, Poor Poor Pharoah, Those Canaan Days, Benjamin's Calypso...
11. Hair: Easy to be Hard, Aquarius, Let the Sun Shine In, I Got Life, Hair, Ain't Go No, Where Do I Go?, Manchester England, The Flesh Failures, Good Morning Starshine, Sodomy, I'm Black, Walking in Space...
12. Evita: Don't Cry for me Argentina, Waltz for Eva and Che, Oh What a Circus!, Another Suitcase in Another Hall, a New Argentina, High Flying Adored, And the Money Kept Rolling In, Buenos Aires, On This Night of a Thousand Stars, The Rainbow Tour...
13. My Fair Lady: Why Can't the English?, I Could Have Danced All Night, Get Me to the Church on Time, Wouldn't It Be Loverly?, On the Street Where you Live, A Hymn to Him, With a Little Bit of Luck, Just You Wait...
14. Grease: Summer Nights, We Go Together, Beauty School Drop Out, Alone at the Drive-In, Rock'n'Roll Party Queen, Those Magic Changes, Greased Lightning, There are Worse Things I Could Do, Look at me I'm Sandra Dee...
15. Avenue Q: The Internet is for Porn, Purpose, Mix Tape, Everyone's a little bit Racist, If You Were Gay, There's a Fine Fine Line, Sucks to be Me...
16. Camelot: I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Camelot, The Lusty Month of May, If Ever I Would Leave You, What do the Simple Folk Do?, Guenevere...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDAVjUCvNfI&feature=related
17. Man of la Mancha: The Impossible Dream, Man of la Mancha, The Knight of the Woeful Countenance, Little Bird Little Bird, Dulcinea, Golden Helmet of Mambrino
18. Spamalot: Always Look in the Bright Side of Life, You Won't Succeed in Broadway, The Song that Goes Like This, Knights of the Round Table, Brave Sir Robin, Diva's Lament, Find Your Grail...
19. Pirates of Penzance: The Pirate King, The Very Model of a Major General, Climb Over Rocky Mountain, When the Foreman Bares His Steel, A Paradox, A Rollicking Band of Pirates We, Finale Act II
20. Wicked: Defying Gravity, Popular, No One Mourns the Wicked, the Wizard and I, No Good Deed, Dancing Through Life, One Short Day, What is This Feeling?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g4ekwTd6Ig
Friday, April 2, 2010
Top 20 Worst Song Lyrics Ever
A great song is nothing but the masterful combination of music and lyrics. However, sometimes composers just don't play enough attention to lyrics. I know that no one expects, for example, dance music to have good lyrics... In fact, I don't think anyone expects dance music to have any lyrics at all let alone deep and thought provoking ones. However, Rock/Pop music does require good lyrics. Still, many a times lyricists just run dry and end up with ridiculous stuff they're try to pass as sublime... get my drift?... These are my Top 20 worst song lyrics ever.
01. MacArthur Park.
Lyrics by Jimmy Webb. Recorded, among others, by Richard Harris, Donna Summer, Liza Minnelli, Waylon Jennings. Is all this whining really about a lost cake recipe? Ah, c'mon!!
MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark / All the sweet, green icing flowing down / Someone left the cake out in the rain / I don't think that I can take it / 'cause it took so long to bake it / And I'll never have that recipe again / Oh, no!
2. Life.
Lyrics by Prince Sampson & Des'ree. Recorded by Des'ree. Hmm, A ghost vs a piece of toast? Tough choice!!
Ooh, I get the shivers / I don't want to see a ghost / It's a sight that I fear most / I'd rather have a piece of toast / and watch the evening news
3. Fish Heads
Lyrics by Bill Mumy and Robert Haimer. Recorded by Barnes & Barnes. This song is pure profound poetry!!
In the morning laughing happy fish heads / In the evening floating in the soup / Fish heads fish heads / Roly poly fish heads / fish heads fish heads / eat them up, yum!
4. Whenever Wherever
Lyrics by Shakira & Gloria Estefan. Recorded by Shakira. I think Shakira should stick to writing in Spanish - something really gets lost in translation here...
Lucky that my lips not only mumble / They spill kisses like a fountain / Lucky that my breasts are small and humble / So you don't confuse them with mountains
5. The War Song
Lyrics by George O'Dowd. Recorded by Culture Club. Ok.. War is stupid, and people are stupid, and you are stupid, and everything is stupid... Great lyrics a 5-year old can write.
War is stupid and people are stupid / And love means nothing in some strange Quarters / War war is stupid and people are stupid / And I heard them banging on hearts and fingers / War!
6. I Am I Said
Lyrics by Neil Diamond. Recorded by Neil Diamond. Neil, dude... you've written some great songs, but.. huh?.
"I am," I said / To no one there / An no one heard at all / Not even the chair
7. Smooth Operator
Lyrics by Sade Adu & Ray St. John. Recorded by Sade. Sade, I know you're Nigerian, but still... get a map!!! I mean, Chicago is nowhere near the coast.
Coast to coast, LA to Chicago, Western Male / across the north and south, to Key Largo, love for sale
8. We Build This City
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin. Recorded by Starship. Bernie, these lyrics here just make no sense at all... I mean, Knee deep in the hoopla??? Mamba?? Marconi plays a snake?? No wonder many people consider this song one of the worst ones ever recorded...
Say you don't know me, or recognize my face / say you don't care who goes to that kind of place / Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight / Too many runaways eating up the night / Marconi plays the Mamba / Listen to the radio Don't you remember? / We built this city / We built this city on rock and roll!
9. That Was Then But This Is Now
Lyrics by Martin Fry. Recorded by ABC. Ok, Martin shoot that poison arrow, and I won't grumble as long as you give me apple crumble...
Can't complain, Mustn't grumble / Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble
10. Your Song
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin. Recorded by Elton John. I always thought this was one of the most beautiful romantic songs of all time. The truth is that Bernie's lyrics here suck and make no sense at all... again!
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no...
11. Anyone Else But You
Lyrics by The Moldy Peaches. Recorded by The Moldy Peaches. This is a ridiculously simple song with a few great one-liners. However, it also has some of the worst lyrics ever - this is my great true example of going from sublime to ridicule within 3 minutes.
Squinched up your face and did a dance / You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants / I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you
12. Muskrat Love
Lyrics by Willis Alan Ramsey. Recorded by The Captain & Tenille. If you ever find yourself writing a love song about muskrats dancing... trust me, it ain't gonna work...
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam / Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land / and they shimmy... Sam is so skinny
13. Time (Clock of my Heart)
Lyrics by George O'Dowd. Recorded by Culture Club. Second entry by Mr. Boy George... ooops!!!
Don't make me feel any colder / Time is like a clock of my heart / Touch we touch was the heat too much
14. A Horse with No Name
Lyrics by America. Recorded by America. Yeah, I know this is supposed to be a metaphor for a heroin (horse) trip. But even if you're writing a song when flat-out stoned, you should.. like.. get a Thesaurus... so you don't run out of rocks and birds and things... to say...
After nine days I let the horse run free 'cause the desert had turned to sea / There were plants and birds and rocks and things / There was sand and hills and rings
15. Honky Tonk Bandonkadonk
Lyrics by Trace Adkins. Recorded by Trace Adkins. When you mention Donkey Kong and slapping your grandma in the same song, there's gotta be something wrong with you boy!
With that honky tonk badonkadonk / Keepin' perfect rhythm / Make ya wanna swing along / Got it goin' on like Donkey Kong /
And whoo-wee / Shut my mouth, slap your grandma / There outta be a law / Get the Sheriff on the phone / Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on / With that honky tonk badonkadonk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9VzEulip9Q
16. Ass Like That
Lyrics by Eminem. Recorded by Eminem. I have defended Enimen lots of times before, but when your pee pee goes doing doing doing, there ain't much I can do for you, dude.
So Gwen Stefani, will you pee pee on me please? / I ain't never seen an ass like that / Cuz the way you move it, you make my pee pee go doing, doing, doing
17. Manic Monday
Lyrics by Christopher (aka Prince). Recorded by The Bangles. You know you're in trouble when you have to make up words to force your lyrics to rhyme, right, Prince?.
It's just another manic Monday / I wish it was Sunday / Cause that's my fun day / I don't have to runday / It's just another manic Monday
18. Cherry Pie
Lyrics by Jani Lane. Recorded by Warrant. Hmm... I didn't know that bitchin' was what was keeping me from swingin' in the kitchen... ain't that special?
Swingin' in the living room / Swingin' in the kitchen / Most folks don't cause they're too busy bitchin'
19. Why Can't This Be Love?
Lyrics by Sammy Hagar. Recorded by Van Halen. What can I say?... well.. DUH!!!
I tell myself, Hey only fools rush in / Only time will tell If we stand the test of time
20. Africa
Lyrics by David Paich & Jeff Pocaro. Recorded by Toto. This is actually one of my favorite songs, but, hey, I gotta admit the lyrics don't make much sense... solitary company? Also, Olympus is a peak in Greece (nowhere near Africa) which is actually about half the height of Kilimanjaro... so, for Kilimanjaro to rise like a smaller mountain in another part of the world, does not really make sense or does it?
The wild dogs cry out in the night / as they grow restless longing for some solitary company / I know that I must do what's right / as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti
01. MacArthur Park.
Lyrics by Jimmy Webb. Recorded, among others, by Richard Harris, Donna Summer, Liza Minnelli, Waylon Jennings. Is all this whining really about a lost cake recipe? Ah, c'mon!!
MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark / All the sweet, green icing flowing down / Someone left the cake out in the rain / I don't think that I can take it / 'cause it took so long to bake it / And I'll never have that recipe again / Oh, no!
2. Life.
Lyrics by Prince Sampson & Des'ree. Recorded by Des'ree. Hmm, A ghost vs a piece of toast? Tough choice!!
Ooh, I get the shivers / I don't want to see a ghost / It's a sight that I fear most / I'd rather have a piece of toast / and watch the evening news
3. Fish Heads
Lyrics by Bill Mumy and Robert Haimer. Recorded by Barnes & Barnes. This song is pure profound poetry!!
In the morning laughing happy fish heads / In the evening floating in the soup / Fish heads fish heads / Roly poly fish heads / fish heads fish heads / eat them up, yum!
4. Whenever Wherever
Lyrics by Shakira & Gloria Estefan. Recorded by Shakira. I think Shakira should stick to writing in Spanish - something really gets lost in translation here...
Lucky that my lips not only mumble / They spill kisses like a fountain / Lucky that my breasts are small and humble / So you don't confuse them with mountains
5. The War Song
Lyrics by George O'Dowd. Recorded by Culture Club. Ok.. War is stupid, and people are stupid, and you are stupid, and everything is stupid... Great lyrics a 5-year old can write.
War is stupid and people are stupid / And love means nothing in some strange Quarters / War war is stupid and people are stupid / And I heard them banging on hearts and fingers / War!
6. I Am I Said
Lyrics by Neil Diamond. Recorded by Neil Diamond. Neil, dude... you've written some great songs, but.. huh?.
"I am," I said / To no one there / An no one heard at all / Not even the chair
7. Smooth Operator
Lyrics by Sade Adu & Ray St. John. Recorded by Sade. Sade, I know you're Nigerian, but still... get a map!!! I mean, Chicago is nowhere near the coast.
Coast to coast, LA to Chicago, Western Male / across the north and south, to Key Largo, love for sale
8. We Build This City
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin. Recorded by Starship. Bernie, these lyrics here just make no sense at all... I mean, Knee deep in the hoopla??? Mamba?? Marconi plays a snake?? No wonder many people consider this song one of the worst ones ever recorded...
Say you don't know me, or recognize my face / say you don't care who goes to that kind of place / Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight / Too many runaways eating up the night / Marconi plays the Mamba / Listen to the radio Don't you remember? / We built this city / We built this city on rock and roll!
9. That Was Then But This Is Now
Lyrics by Martin Fry. Recorded by ABC. Ok, Martin shoot that poison arrow, and I won't grumble as long as you give me apple crumble...
Can't complain, Mustn't grumble / Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble
10. Your Song
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin. Recorded by Elton John. I always thought this was one of the most beautiful romantic songs of all time. The truth is that Bernie's lyrics here suck and make no sense at all... again!
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no...
11. Anyone Else But You
Lyrics by The Moldy Peaches. Recorded by The Moldy Peaches. This is a ridiculously simple song with a few great one-liners. However, it also has some of the worst lyrics ever - this is my great true example of going from sublime to ridicule within 3 minutes.
Squinched up your face and did a dance / You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants / I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you
12. Muskrat Love
Lyrics by Willis Alan Ramsey. Recorded by The Captain & Tenille. If you ever find yourself writing a love song about muskrats dancing... trust me, it ain't gonna work...
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam / Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land / and they shimmy... Sam is so skinny
13. Time (Clock of my Heart)
Lyrics by George O'Dowd. Recorded by Culture Club. Second entry by Mr. Boy George... ooops!!!
Don't make me feel any colder / Time is like a clock of my heart / Touch we touch was the heat too much
14. A Horse with No Name
Lyrics by America. Recorded by America. Yeah, I know this is supposed to be a metaphor for a heroin (horse) trip. But even if you're writing a song when flat-out stoned, you should.. like.. get a Thesaurus... so you don't run out of rocks and birds and things... to say...
After nine days I let the horse run free 'cause the desert had turned to sea / There were plants and birds and rocks and things / There was sand and hills and rings
15. Honky Tonk Bandonkadonk
Lyrics by Trace Adkins. Recorded by Trace Adkins. When you mention Donkey Kong and slapping your grandma in the same song, there's gotta be something wrong with you boy!
With that honky tonk badonkadonk / Keepin' perfect rhythm / Make ya wanna swing along / Got it goin' on like Donkey Kong /
And whoo-wee / Shut my mouth, slap your grandma / There outta be a law / Get the Sheriff on the phone / Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on / With that honky tonk badonkadonk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9VzEulip9Q
16. Ass Like That
Lyrics by Eminem. Recorded by Eminem. I have defended Enimen lots of times before, but when your pee pee goes doing doing doing, there ain't much I can do for you, dude.
So Gwen Stefani, will you pee pee on me please? / I ain't never seen an ass like that / Cuz the way you move it, you make my pee pee go doing, doing, doing
17. Manic Monday
Lyrics by Christopher (aka Prince). Recorded by The Bangles. You know you're in trouble when you have to make up words to force your lyrics to rhyme, right, Prince?.
It's just another manic Monday / I wish it was Sunday / Cause that's my fun day / I don't have to runday / It's just another manic Monday
18. Cherry Pie
Lyrics by Jani Lane. Recorded by Warrant. Hmm... I didn't know that bitchin' was what was keeping me from swingin' in the kitchen... ain't that special?
Swingin' in the living room / Swingin' in the kitchen / Most folks don't cause they're too busy bitchin'
19. Why Can't This Be Love?
Lyrics by Sammy Hagar. Recorded by Van Halen. What can I say?... well.. DUH!!!
I tell myself, Hey only fools rush in / Only time will tell If we stand the test of time
20. Africa
Lyrics by David Paich & Jeff Pocaro. Recorded by Toto. This is actually one of my favorite songs, but, hey, I gotta admit the lyrics don't make much sense... solitary company? Also, Olympus is a peak in Greece (nowhere near Africa) which is actually about half the height of Kilimanjaro... so, for Kilimanjaro to rise like a smaller mountain in another part of the world, does not really make sense or does it?
The wild dogs cry out in the night / as they grow restless longing for some solitary company / I know that I must do what's right / as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti
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